Celebration Cut Short

This morning brought about something that could be incredibly sad. When I pulled into work today, I spotted this gem. At first glance, it's just another empty bottle. Sure, we're used to the broken beer bottle and other such ale and hops riff-raff, but this specimen here is one of the finer varieties of alcoholic treats. Upon closer inspection, we see that there's quite a bit of sparkling wine in this bottle. Undoubtedly, this is what remains from a party cut short. I refuse to believe someone(s) simply didn't care for the taste of "Berry Fusion". Because, come on, it's berries, man. Who doesn't like the taste of berries?

Lot lizards, that's who. Lot lizards clearly prefer something citrusy. (And you thought that was a rhetorical question. Just goes to show ya, anything can happen on this lot. And it usually does.) 

Sweat It Out

Today's find is nothing short of creepy. It's a sweater. I think. Looks like the remnants of something washed ashore long after a missing person's report was filed. But, there's no body of water nearby. Here at the Parking Lot Diaries, we are highly suspect of anything that appears.

Sure, it could be another dirty, unassuming piece of someone's forgotten wardrobe, but its journey to our lot is certainly just as eerie.

The Key to Success

As the sayin' goes, there's no such thing as bad advertising. The key to success is getting your name out there. Businesses and even people promote their products and services through a wide array of marketing devices. It's important to know who your audience is and to reach out and command their attention.

 

If you make your marketing materials functional, you can reach a greater audience. Advertising on an ink pen, for example, has the potential to reach many more people than the ad on the back of a weekly circular. That crap's gonna get tossed away with the garbage...but an ink pen, oh no. You've really got something there.

 

Plastic cups are good too, because who doesn't like a reusable plastic cup with your logo emblazoned on it? Loudly profess your love for your favorite pizza place or law firm when you're entertaining guests on your back patio while you're serving up bubbly brews.

 

In this lot, you'll find a bunch of gimmicky marketing tactics strewn about the pavement. It's really where garbage goes to die. Sometimes you'll find a pen advertising this place or that. Other times, you'll see marketing on the side of a discarded cup. Then again, you'll always have rare gems like this shopping cart keychain. 

Balloon Knot

At some point in time, there was a celebration in our parking lot's adjoining brick alley. As evidenced in this snapshot, there's a busted a withered knot, a remnant from a blue balloon. Balloons are typically indicative of a good time, so its placement in our lot is questionable. It's also doubtful you'll find another dirty balloon knot of this sort on the internet.

It's Just a Little Prick

 
There's only one thing I hate more than going to the doctor's office, and that's knowing I'm going to get a shot. It doesn't matter how big that needle is. Just the thought I'm going to endure the pain of a sharp metal object puncturing the surface of my skin is enough to tense my muscles up and flinch (which, ironically, is the exact opposite response you need for a "comfortable" jabbing).

 

What's more, is that there are actually people who purposefully endure needling themselves. More horrifying still, some people opt to do this dastardly deed in our parking lot, leaving their awkward evidence behind.

Quick! The cops are comin'!

This lot has provided evidence of many types of people:

Revelers
Druggies
Muggers
Litterbugs
Victims
Drunks
Prostitutes
Bums
Vandals
Horrible Drivers
And other assorted assholes. 

Now, The Parking Lot is new and improved, featuring THIEVES! This stash was free of cash*, but otherwise demonstrates the contents of the victim's purse. *Cash is king for all transactions (either consensual or forced) in the lot.

Lot Art

Art is a matter of perception. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, rather than get annoyed with the amount of garbage in the lot, choose to alter your belief for just a moment. Perhaps it wasn't a careless litterbug who emptied their ashtray or discarded their McDonald's wrappers. Maybe they were making an attempt at urban art. Somehow trash doesn't seem so bad when you look at it through art-loving eyes.

 

Embrace the discarded chicken wing bones and the broken bottles. Admire the scope of the busted windshield glass. Heck, I believe I've seen broken glass all over the floor at artistic installation at the contemporary art museum. The stuff in our lot is so real, so gritty, so admirable. Take this Kleenex-henge. Oh, that form. Oh, the positioning of the snotted-up tissue wads. Pure genius!