Balloon Knot

At some point in time, there was a celebration in our parking lot's adjoining brick alley. As evidenced in this snapshot, there's a busted a withered knot, a remnant from a blue balloon. Balloons are typically indicative of a good time, so its placement in our lot is questionable. It's also doubtful you'll find another dirty balloon knot of this sort on the internet.

It's Just a Little Prick

 
There's only one thing I hate more than going to the doctor's office, and that's knowing I'm going to get a shot. It doesn't matter how big that needle is. Just the thought I'm going to endure the pain of a sharp metal object puncturing the surface of my skin is enough to tense my muscles up and flinch (which, ironically, is the exact opposite response you need for a "comfortable" jabbing).

 

What's more, is that there are actually people who purposefully endure needling themselves. More horrifying still, some people opt to do this dastardly deed in our parking lot, leaving their awkward evidence behind.

Quick! The cops are comin'!

This lot has provided evidence of many types of people:

Revelers
Druggies
Muggers
Litterbugs
Victims
Drunks
Prostitutes
Bums
Vandals
Horrible Drivers
And other assorted assholes. 

Now, The Parking Lot is new and improved, featuring THIEVES! This stash was free of cash*, but otherwise demonstrates the contents of the victim's purse. *Cash is king for all transactions (either consensual or forced) in the lot.

Lot Art

Art is a matter of perception. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, rather than get annoyed with the amount of garbage in the lot, choose to alter your belief for just a moment. Perhaps it wasn't a careless litterbug who emptied their ashtray or discarded their McDonald's wrappers. Maybe they were making an attempt at urban art. Somehow trash doesn't seem so bad when you look at it through art-loving eyes.

 

Embrace the discarded chicken wing bones and the broken bottles. Admire the scope of the busted windshield glass. Heck, I believe I've seen broken glass all over the floor at artistic installation at the contemporary art museum. The stuff in our lot is so real, so gritty, so admirable. Take this Kleenex-henge. Oh, that form. Oh, the positioning of the snotted-up tissue wads. Pure genius!

Smoking May Cause Headaches

Because sometimes you just need to store your Marlboro pack in your Aleve box. Plus, it helps cut back on the space your freakin' litter takes up, making more room for even more garbage. If you're going to litter, please do so responsibly. Environmental harm reduction.

Like a Surgeon

If ever you need to conduct routine back-alley surgery or there's been a SARS outbreak scare, the Parking Lot is stocked with a face mask for whatever your needs may be. Please be advised, however, we cannot guarantee this item is free from holes, tears, or manufacturer's defect. Use at your own risk.*

*If you're on your way to a creepy costume party, and you're looking for form over function, what a fun little accessory!

Bloody Monday

The Parking Lot has become somewhat of a legend, at least to us, since its inception. Yeah, I get the benefit of working here every day, so I may see more than most. But colleagues who visit our building periodically for meetings comment on the random stuff they see in our lot. It's quite amusing to hear people compare stories about the randomness they find in our lot...serendipitously, and without looking for it. Fortunately enough, no one's terrified by what they find, but moreover entertained by the objects they spot. Then again, if they were terrified, they probably wouldn't profess their fear. At least not to us because the real fear is that we'd make fun of them. And rightfully so.

But then, there are things like this that not only defy explanation, but haunt us. The wound that caused these blood droplets on the pavement must be midway between paper cut and traumatic head wound. More questions are left than those that are answered. It's quite clear: there are blood stains on the concrete. Who they came from and how it happened will probably never be answered. Just another day in the Parking Lot, where anything can happen...unfortunately.