Spread 'Em!

Let's face it, urban blight wreaks havoc on your feet. Dry callouses, brittle toenails, and a variety of nasty funguses could easily result if you spend any amount of time in the city. But this parking lot gives back and offers you tools to combat what ails ya. You just have to be lucky enough to spot 'em.

Spreading your toes is as easy as spreading pink eye in a public swimming pool with these gems. Toes and nail polish not included, but if you rummage through the contents of the Parking Lot Diaries, I'm sure you'll be able to find some.

Like a Surgeon

If ever you need to conduct routine back-alley surgery or there's been a SARS outbreak scare, the Parking Lot is stocked with a face mask for whatever your needs may be. Please be advised, however, we cannot guarantee this item is free from holes, tears, or manufacturer's defect. Use at your own risk.*

*If you're on your way to a creepy costume party, and you're looking for form over function, what a fun little accessory!

High Society

In each culture, it's necessary to align with social pressures to fit in. Any misstep in conversation or fashion faux pas, and you're bound to be banished to the kiddie table at the next big family get together. Of course, these ways of conducting ourselves vary greatly for men and for women. In a way, women are held to a higher standard than men. Men can get away without wearing a speck of makeup, bleaching their mustaches, or shaving their legs. Men can belch, and will even turn an awkward fart into a hilariously executed punctuation within a conversation.

 

Unfortunately, however, it's no so easy for women. Social norms dictate women must look and behave a certain, proper way. Women who venture out of the house without painting their faces are often criticized for not doing so. And neglecting to bleach stray upper lip hairs? Some women would rather curl up and hide than have anyone spot them with unwanted body hair. Many women look forward to the winter months where pants and long skirts hide their unshaven legs so they can enjoy a little lapse in social pressures for their legs to look a certain way.

 

The rituals women go through on a daily basis to fit in with social pressures are cumbersome and time-consuming. It's possible in the quest for perfection, a step of the beauty regimen is incomplete or abandoned all together in an effort to make it to the office on time. Or say, there's just not enough time to shave your legs before leaving home. Well, you guessed it, the Parking Lot has you covered!

 

Sanitarily contained in a Ziploc baggy is your own pink razor (how feminine!). Your new razor's name is "Indigo Knight", which is coincidentally the name of a modeling agency in Louisiana. Now, if that hidden wintery leg stubble is leaving you feeling inadequate, you sneak a few shaves in your work day.

 

Oh, and speaking of hygiene double standards, the Parking Lot also has menstrual pads available free of charge.

Weave Me Alone

Invariably, there's bound to be some random hair swatches in the parking lot. Not sure quite how this happens. Maybe it was just really windy. Perhaps a hair-tearing fight ensued. Cheap glue is always a possibility. In any event, the amount of weave in this parking lot gives us pause to reflect on why the heck this lot is so special. And I refuse to believe it's anything more than weave.


More importantly, how can someone go about their business after losing their hair extensions in the parking lot? Certainly, they're experiencing the proverbial Bad Hair Day after suffering such a loss. Perhaps at the point you lose a clump of your 'do, it's time to just call it a day and just go home. I know if it were me, I'd be in such a lousy mood, I'd retreat to my bedroom and pull the covers up over my head. Certainly tomorrow brings a brighter day.

Fashion Forward!

It's important to accessorize, especially on the go. You never know who may come across and you want to be fashionable. Whether you've arranged a play date with your pimp, or you're going to a casual business meeting, having the right accessories is paramount to your success. Fortunately, if you failed to remember to wear a complete set of earrings, there just may be options for you in the parking lot.

Say you're looking for a simple, albeit dented, hoop. We can help. A passerby stepped on the earring, giving it its signature dent. But that's the nature of parking lot jewelry. Never perfect, but chock full of character. The hoop measures about 2 inches in diameter and is coated in some gold-colored substance. This perfectly fine accessory has been abandoned for your use. Bacterial infection guaranteed.






Need a little extra sparkle to make it though the day? Perhaps a questionably pink "gemstone" is more your style. The detailed bezel cut is accented with a faux gold setting. Although this stud lacks a back to secure the earring in place, a nearby discarded cigarette butt can easily be converted into an earring back.









Of course, no amount of jewelry is appropriate without a little more preparation in your daily routine. Earrings are simply ornaments for the sides of our head. They highlight our face. But if our faces are incomplete, we may as well go back to bed and shut off the light. Who would recognize us without our faces. We're talking makeup. Rouge is important. Failing to apply it can ruin your day. But if your compact is lacking a brush to apply your blush, search no further.